Tonight is my last night sleeping inside, it seems. I’ll leave on foot with the birds in the morning. I won’t be able to take anything with me, really. My hands will be kind of full.
I really don’t expect we’ll survive long. I have no where to go, no one to call. I’m in an unfamiliar place. My medicine hasn’t been working right, so I’m physically impaired.
No one to blame but myself. I made terrible choices and put my trust in bad people. It’s a lifelong pattern. I guess I never worked through my sociopath mother issues. I keep replacing her with others. Maybe it’s all I know. But, that’s on me. And, it really doesn’t matter.
I wish I could tell my children how much I love them and how proud I am. They are nothing like me.
Maybe I have another post left in me for later, but right now, I don’t feel very good. I’m going to lie down and cry myself to sleep. Tomorrow everything will be worse.
I’ll be grateful for what I have tonight. I’m so scared.