Knock it off

1. Do yourself a kindness and stop believing what you know others think about you. If they haven't expressed what they are thinking, we cannot presume to know, cannot control it even if we did know, and, more importantly, it's none of our business what someone else is thinking unless it requires something of us, directly. So, even if someone were to think you "weird", which may or may not actually be true, that person owns it and is responsible for what they do with it. You could possibly influence what someone thinks in order to change it, but if you did it would only be through some accident of chance. Human thinking is a complex process of equally complex variables. It requires considerable effort to understand and manage our own thoughts, let alone concern ourselves with what is being thought that we have absolutely no means to access directly. 

2. Who you are is not defined by what anyone thinks, even what you, yourself, think. Who you are is independent of whatever thought exists about you. And do you know why? It's because a thought can be wrong. Who you are is not subject to evaluation. It is an inerrant fact. Everything thought about who you are, however, can be completely wrong. And nothing changes the truth of it. In fact, I think just a fraction of what human beings think about the world surrounding us and within us accurately describes what actually exists. We get close enough to the mark to survive, most of the time.  But, not always. That's when we meet an untimely demise or misfortune.

3 thoughts on “Knock it off

  1. Crossing Against The Light, is this directed at someone in particular???? If so I would say that you did everything but keel-haul them.
    I can’t help but say the last statement in #1 is, at the very least, highly debatable. Case in point, almost everyone, from time-to-time, has been enjoying the company of a friend, and as the idle talk progresses one mentions something, and the other suddenly says “I was thinking that very same thing”.
    Just a coincidence?
    Actually it’s not, to some, information held in one’s frontal lobe is like leaving the cash drawer open with money for the taking.
    There are those that prey on people every day in this way, and Children especially in this day and time.
    Sincerely,
    Robert StrongBow

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    1. Thanks for the question. I’ve been posting my thoughts for 10 years or so online and this is the first one, but I will cogitate on that later. This post, in particular, actually wasn’t quite done when it was published. That is why it looks the way it does. It’s missing the last half, as well. I don’t know if that would actually clarify the meaning of the first point, but, since we can’t know until I post the rest, I’ll tell you what the intent was and then, you can decide if that changes your comment. The thought I was trying to convey was that we can’t control what goes on in someone else’s mind. Recognizing that some of us have spent entirely too much time worrying about what others think about us or even interpreting unrelated things to mean what we think others believe about us, it’s something of hall pass to realize that these are futile efforts on our part. If someone chooses to keep their thoughts to themselves, that means what they might be thinking is really none of our business. What *is* our business is being cognizant of how people behave. And, we don’t need to know their inner thoughts in order to respond to that behavior. I don’t disagree at all as to your example with the empathic friends. This is a common experience between my daughter, another friend, and myself. Also, speaking for myself, I sometimes have a train of thought that is travelling in a certain direction and before I share what those thoughts are something changes that alters the course my thinking was taking. In these cases, I may have had two or more completely opposing conclusions drawn in my mind before anyone is the wiser. And, this is also a good reason to not concern oneself much with what we don’t know about another person’s thinking process. If they haven’t shared it with us, it may be because they are still subject to being changed. I don’t know what keel-hauled means, but it sounds painful.

      “Never impose on others what you would not choose for yourself.” -Confucius (c.500 BC)

      On Sat, Jan 23, 2016 at 8:12 PM, Crossing Against the Light wrote:

      >

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Oh I had that guessed pretty close, although such a large percentile seem to live and die by the peer-pressure of true idiots.
        Children are caught in this trap, but I never thought that adults would be just as caught-up in this sort of thing.
        I have to agree with you on being so open minded as to really getting into evaluating something or particular subject that you actually see the other side of the coin, or even more possibilities. But that line of QC shall we say has been around for a very long time with the advent of the advocatus diaboli, “The Devil’s Advocate”, used by The Catholic Church for a very long time. (and nothing like the movie with Keanu Reeves.
        If you did the wrong thing to a Capitan of The Coast, you might just get chained to the keel of his ship.
        Sincerely,
        Robert

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