this week, raw & uncut

The other day, this was our truth:

I had abdominal surgery a few days ago.

I have three small birds and we are not in a safe place. I am still too weak and in terrible pain to take care of myself and them both. No matter how much I hurt, they depend on me. I cannot let them down.

I am too afraid and anxious to leave the room I am staying in. I can’t go into the kitchen or to the bathroom unless I know there is no threat in the house. There is only one person in the house willing to help me, but, he is usually intoxicated and often forgets and leaves me without food or water.

The people who own this house no longer want me, here. They won’t talk to me. They refused to  take me to the hospital when I begged. Instead, they left. It’s because their daughter moved back into the house.

She has threatened to hurt me on sight and destroys my things. She destroyed my vehicle. She used my personal information to open phone accounts and buy a phone the day of my surgery. She stands outside the door and says things that are not true or that mean to make me feel worthless. I try not to hear her.

No one here will protect me or make it stop.

I am trapped, today, and I feel like my birds and I are going to probably die. I have no where to go. I can barely move because of this pain. It shouldn’t hurt this way.

I am alone. I am so desperate and afraid. I would beg anyone to help me, please help me. If I have to lose my flock I have nothing. We are each other’s everything, right now. The oldest is 30 years old. My Lou. Qt has been my companion for 15 years. Alo is only 7, but he is Qt’s best friend.

I won’t leave or abandon them. I promised them I would never let that happen to them.

Please help me keep my promise to never leave them.

Please, God, help us. Don’t abandon us.

Please.

I am so afraid.

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