My Judas Beast

Recently, I have come to see my mind as an indwelling Judas. ImageOn any particular branch of thought, I might find Judas swinging by the neck. That is, I might have found Judas if I had been aware. The mind is complex, of course, some minds being more or less so than others, so I hesitate to define my own with such singular device, but I’ll be damned if it isn’t hard not to fixate on the discovery about where my thinking happens. Because, if my mind is that place where the seat of reason was supposedly installed, that might be a clue as to the nature of the problem. That my own mind could obscure something this significant about its nature to another part of itself, is blowing yet another part itself.

So, I’ll settle on my having, as far as I can tell, today, a triune mind. It’s not quite the personalities of Eve, because it’s probably much worse.

Before I got sight of this Judas-like thing hanging in the periphery, I trusted that there were certain things about my understanding of myself that were incontrovertibly under my control.

Trusting that anything is under my control was my first mistake.

So, here I (whatever that is) am realizing that there is some unknown quantity of my own self intent on betraying everything I believed represented this “me” I now am looking at sideways (which is anatomically awkward to attempt).

This post is the rambling take away of the thought process gone haywire. Proceed with caution and a bucket. . Bring ibuprofen.

Speak your mind

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